Right now I am so tired and angry my insides are boiling....literally, to the point of pain and nausea. All little hairs are standing on end. Hard to explain but PMS got nothin' on this! Long story, but could be a quick fix.........D-I-V-O-R-C-E. It's just so frustrating. I'm trying to do the right thing. But this marriage has been bad since "I do." And I knew it when I said it. But I said it anyway and regretted it for all of the last 13 years. You keep telling yourself you can make this work. But you can't make people change. You can't make them to be who they are not capable of being. You can lie to yourself all you want and it will never be true. The hardest thing to do is to except it. I'm still working on that part. We do the same things, go through the same motions over and over and expect a different result every time.....like rolling dice. But every roll is "snake eyes." This has never been a marriage as is intended; it's just a bad business relationship. A really bad one. The biggest questions now are when? and how? I have no money, nothing in my name but an empty bank account and three grade school kids in tow. If (when) I leave I will be giving up everything but the kids. We have nowhere to go, to live. I don't have a single relative that could take us in. Yes, I'm coming up with any and every excuse possible NOT to make this move. Guess I'm looking for somebody to tell me what to do and how to do it....To do everything short of packing my things for me. So, yeah, I need the biggest match in the world to be lit and shoved under my unmotivated ass. But right now I have to fix dinner for my kids............."Hubby" is drinking his dinner with his buddies.