I thought you'd show up! Some cool stuff......Well, at least it's still cool to me. How do I add a "photos" link to this thing? I could put all my pictures on one page. Still new concept to me. I'll have to get one of my kids to show me how. It's the July archive. Hadn't been here in a while. Kinda hard to get time blog even with two laptops and a desktop in the house. My three teenagers (the younger of 5) kind of take over the house. Especially since school's out. I still want to paint for a living...dadgummit! Guess that means I gotta DO something about it. Yeah....that....

Same as always

Ian is home now from the Behavioral Health Center. The foul language has quadrupled. Nothing seems to have really changed. His brothers still intentionally aggravate the crap out of him.
I went back to the hospital to pick up a couple of things that we forgot to get and when I returned the boys had ransacked the dining room and the living room, thrown clean laundry in the floor (at each other), and left garbage every where.... I was gone all of 45 minutes. I didn't expect anything different, I suppose. They don't respect each other or anyone else for that matter. Mason would rather destroy or throw something away than let one of his brothers have it. Liam would rather walk through fire, vomit, snake pits than say "thank you" to one of his brothers, especially to Ian. Are all siblings this way? Are my boys the norm of the rarity?
I remember fighting with my siblings but I don't remember it being this bad. But then we didn't have all the electronic toys and gadgets that kids today have. We had jump ropes, balls, skates....Normal things for kids our age. But we always found something to argue about.
I suppose that really is the norm......for us, anyway.

He is who he is

Ian went into a adolescent behavioral center Friday.....after being in the ER for 24 hours. I found out that he took "15 or 17" of his Clonidine tablets and made no attempt to tell anyone. I had already sent him to school and he kept falling asleep so of course his teacher wanted to know why. Thus began our journey with the residential behavioral health center.
There are too many reasons why yet none of them truly explain anything. Who is Ian? What makes him who he is? Was he born with these difficulties? Did they develop over time? What affected his development? He is who he is..........

Wow.....New day but same old stuff. Overworked, overwhelmed and exhausted......But I wouldn't have it any other way. I often wonder what my life would be like if I could go back in time to when I was at college and sort of start over....You know, know everything that you know now but still be back then....again. Would I make different choices? There are many things I'd change or wouldn't do...or say...... Would I be a better person being all the wiser or would I make selfish changes that affect lots of people exponentially? Would I be able to make the right decision knowing the outcome and sacrificing what could be for me? Or would I focus totally on myself and the things I could be and have and do.....knowing the things I know now? I would hope that I could be selfless and give more of myself and my time. Spend more time focusing on what matters.....Be a missionary right here or in some third world country. Become a nun......maybe not. At least be a more compassionate person. Make every day count. Do I need a "re-do" for that? Maybe.......Maybe not.