Yeah, the "pirate" art hit the paper today. I must say, some of them were really cool. Some quite funny, actually. Now I know how much creativity I was (we were) allowed. Too little too late for me. Fun though.
The biggest question is, "How do I market ME?" I certainly don't have the connections here in Charlotte that I had in central Florida. I figured there would be more juried art shows here than back home...but NO. Suppose I could leave my business card at restaurants and hospitals for starters. Even "giveaway" murals will get my name out there. An even bigger challenge right now is the lack of a place to paint or even think about painting. Hopefully, in September, I will have some studio space of some sort in our new apartment or house.
I actually dread moving back in with my husband. I have a feeling that things will just become exactly what they were before I left the last time. I don't know if I can handle that. He thinks the only reason I was "unhappy" is because I wasn't working. I was a stay-at-home mom homeschooling our children. Boredom and discontent were NOT the problem. An emotionally and physically absent husband was. Alcohol was and still is his mistress. The family was at the bottom of his list because he assumed that we would always be there because we were "His." Along with MY social security number.
All of the credit cards he aquired with my SSN are still unpaid. He has credit but I can't even get my one little Target card limit raised above $200 because of what he did. And the van he bought (think piece of crap on wheels) with my SSN is now in my brother's possession.....with no tag or title (not even from day one). If my brother (name withheld intentionally) gets stopped for drugs or DWI then that van will be traced back to me......The one whose name is not on it but whose SSN is. I can never claim it but I am legally responsible for whatever happens with or in it. Does that make any sense? Not to me. The only way I can have any of this crap changed would be to take my husband to court. I'm still married to him. There has been no legal separation, divorce or mandated child support of any kind. What's a judge gonna do? Laugh?
Why is it that the woman always gets screwed?....Literally and figuatively. Marital rape can rarely be proven so why is it illegal? Of course husbands never remember such things and wives "ask for it" so where is the argument? "I would never do that to you. I love you. I could never do or say those things to you." Right. I left because you "love" me. If that's what you want to believe, I'm happy for you. And drinking and driving with the kids in the car is ok because you always know what your limit is?..........I do believe the limit is "ZERO." "But I know when I've had too many." When? After you wake up in a strange place and can't find your truck? Yeah. I guess that would be the limit.
He should support his kids ( and me for that matter) until they are each 18. I believed being a stay-at-home mom was in the best interest for all of us. And at the time it was. Somebody has to protect the kids. But it backfired for all of us. Well, not for my husband. It's actually working just fine for him. He thinks he has me right where he wants me. And I suppose he does. Because I helped get me there.
How do I support all of us if I can't even get a minimum wage job? Where do I go from here? Do I take advantage of the situation and take an entry level job and work my way back up the ladder? Only to leave my husband again when the money and the leavin' are good? The boys really want to be with their dad but they're too young to really understand what his (our) problem is. My daughter just wants everything her way no matter who pays the price. She's very jealous and possessive. I have no idea where she gets it....No, really. I guess the biggest problem is that I don't want to put everybody back into a sinking boat. A boat made out of tissue paper that everyone can see through except the doomed passengers. And no captain.